Being a Jedi is a lot harder than I thought.

[virtualvoyages]

I know we're supposed to be serene, never passionate, but forbidding love seems wrong.  Love is a good thing, isn't it?  And if you don't love - if you don't care about people - isn't that the Dark Side?  I don't understand.

And some of the masters are... not what I expected.  They're so judgmental and... I don't know.  They're more like bureaucrats than scholars.  It doesn't feel right.

I'm so confused.

Why doesn't the council allow us to properly protect the Twi'lek pilgrims?  I know they're here illegally, but that shouldn't matter.  And if we had, then one wouldn't have stolen Rajivari's holocron and be going down the dark path.  Doesn't that make it our fault?  Something we should have prevented?

I will have to meditate.  Or ask my master.  Or one of the other masters who are more like what I expected.  Maybe Master Quilb or Master Till'in.  Maybe they can make it seem right.

Comments

[loquat.myid.net]

All good questions, young padawan. I harbored such thoughts myself when I was in your shoes, many years ago, as most of us do when we first learn that becoming a Jedi means renouncing the world. My masters assured me there was no middle ground; either one learned to let go of all worldly attachments, or one started down the path that inevitably led to evil.

But this wasn't always the case. If you can recover Rajivari's holocron, you may find that he provides a very interesting perspective on the subject.

[virtualvoyages]

A third path? But that goes against so much that I've been taught. Of course, some of the masters go against things I've been taught, and things I believed the Jedi stand for.

I don't know. I fear that my doubts will lead me to the dark side. But I don't want power, I just want to help people. If the holocron will answer some of my questions, that's yet another reason to recover it.

Thank you.